I did it!
After many pondering moments of what “starting a blog” even entails, I decided to dive right in! Will anyone read it? Who knows! Will I have fun doing it? Maybe! Am I excited? Absolutely!!!!!! ….and after learning that there’s a YouTube channel, that my 3 year old watches daily, of a little boy named Ryan who reviews toys and has earned around 11 million dollars doing it, I decided to take a shot because.. why not!
I have had a lot of people reach out to me over the years telling me I should start a “mommy blog”! Why? Because of the ridiculous antics of two little boys who make my life both chaotic and full of love! They dazzle me every day by, one minute making me want to leave them on the front porch and lock the front door, but the next minute, wanting to smother them with hugs and kisses! They make life fun, they make it interesting but most of all it is NOTHING like I ever imagined.
If I’ve already lost you then feel free to close this tab and go back to scrolling through your Facebook or Instagram feeds or playing candy crush or whatever it was you were doing. If you’re the least bit interested then stay tuned on how life became all about Crooks and Chaos!!!!!!
Let’s start back 4 years ago when I decided I was more than ready to have a baby! Side note: I always dreamt of being a mom! Playing house was one of my favourite things to do as a little girl. Actually, truth be told, I played house for a lot longer than the norm. I specifically remember being old enough to think that the baby dolls I had to play with did not look nor feel like real babies, with their stupid plastic limbs and hard as rock heads and creepy glass eye balls! They were impossible to swaddle and cuddle and set nicely in a rickety plastic stroller. They were always hard to dress because their limbs felt like they would break in two if there was any force used to get them into pants or sleeves! (In my 3 years of mommying, I have learned that you’re not really supposed to force limbs into clothing and if you are, then something is wrong, who knew?!?!) Anyways, I always dreamt of what I would name my baby and how fun it would be to feed them, dress them, cuddle them and they would just sleep for hours until I was ready to feed them, dress them and cuddle them again!
Soooo, fast forward to 4 years ago… I was ready! I had already found “the one” (who even says that in real life) and we both knew we had some challenges ahead. We got some help, we ate broccoli and chicken for what seemed like way too long, “the one” tried to stay out of 110 degree baths and we just practiced…. a lot!
Low and behold, we had 1 miscarriage! (Which actually caused me to faint in a tree stand. That day, I was the worst hunting wife ever making “the one” choose between throwing his bow on the ground and spooking the deer or letting me fall.) Our miscarriage was definitely not as devastating to us as some couples have to endure, it was actually a glimpse of hope that if we’ve done it once, we could do it again.
A couple months later, I was acting like a lunatic! Tears, anger, emotional vomit everywhere. I knew I just felt different. So I went and bought a pregnancy test and didn’t even bother to read the instructions (because who actually takes the time to read through a booklet of instructions when you know they’re just going to tell you to pee on the stick)! Turns out, you actually should take the time to read them because taking the test at 2pm in the afternoon, just turns out to be the worlds scariest guessing game of the faintest little plus sign ever!
I took a picture of the test and sent it to 3 people asking if they saw what I saw. I got 2 “Omg yesssss”’s and “the one” chimed in with “I don’t see a thing!” …….k cool! Back to the store for another test (another side note: if you’re planning on taking a pregnancy test, just spend the extra money and buy the 2-pack, save yourself the inevitable “I better check again” trip) and I waited till the next morning and took the test like the instructions actually instructed me to do. There was no mistaking it this time! This plus sign was large and in charge! Obviously, I took a new picture and sent it to “the one” and said “Now do you see it!!!!!!” We had done it again, we were having a baby!
I was beyond excited I was going to be a mommy and all my years of practicing on my baby dolls was going to be put to the test. I was going to ace motherhood! I remembered all my baby names I had picked out from my childhood. I was going to spend countless hours just feeding, cuddling and changing this perfect little angel that I would cuddle to sleep when I wanted them to sleep and they would sleep until I was ready to wake them. I was the most confident, most prepared, most knowledgable mommy there ever was ……..
……boy was I wrong!