How does anyone decide they’re DONE having kids?
As if we even have to make that decision. When my husband and I first started dating, we didn’t even think having our own kids was an option! Here we are, 6 years later, and deciding whether we should put a temporary or a permanent fix in the baby making factory or let nature take its course!
Becoming pregnant with a second child while raising a 7 month old was not what I had planned! Although, I wouldn’t change a thing, or else my super spunky, caring and funny 2 year old would not be here, however; if he came maybe 3 years later, life would have made way more sense.
I guess becoming a mother has really made me realize how life really actually doesn’t make any sense! Try explaining to a 3 year old that we don’t hit but you can give anyone and everyone a high-five. Or we don’t throw things but here’s a baseball and throw it to me as hard as you can! No, we don’t play with our peepee’s …….I’ll just wait till the day they figure out that that one is also a lie! Or my new current favourite, we don’t ram our cars into each other and break them but hey, let’s go watch a demolition derby where grown-ups do it for fun! I can totally see why toddlers get overwhelmed while trying to navigate this crazy world we live in!
My least favourite saying while pregnant the second time around was always, “Well at least you can get it all over and done with sooner!”. Umm excuse me, I don’t want to “get it over and done with!” I am a huge lover of the newborn baby stage! Give me a newborn baby over a whining toddler any day. I think this is why I have a burning desire for a third!
Now that my two are older, I could really enjoy the last firsts of everything to do with pregnancy, birth and newborn baby-ness. I felt robbed of that when I was pregnant with my second, caring for a toddler and planning a wedding. It all happened so fast it’s now just a blur!
Then I look at my two kids and watch them getting older and all the new exciting adventures we go on and the things they come up with, and I think, nope I’m good! This is our family! We’re done! I also don’t think I could afford the amount of wine it takes to raise three.
I did hear the other day that if you’re going to put on two snow suits, you might as well just put on three! Makes sense but, all I can think of is where is that third child and what is he getting into while I’m putting on snowsuits!
Then I look at friends of mine who are or have been struggling with baby making and going through all the emotions of this horrendous life card, and think to myself, stop whining and just be thankful for the two that you have.
So, I’m not sure where I stand forever, but for now, I’m just going to roll with the cards I’ve been dealt! Watch my kids grow and attempt to raise them into the best little human beings they can be. If I happen to book an appointment for my husband’s snipping and take him out for dinner with a surprise afterwards, then so be it! If I end up pregnant with another little miracle baby then so be that!
To all you people that are good, solid decision makers, I loathe and admire you! To all the rest of us out there, cheers to changing our minds daily and overthinking and overanalyzing every minute detail!
From your confused mommy of two 💙💙