Boys will be boys, right?!!!!
Fun fact: my youngest now loves taking candid photos of our family while playing on my phone! I personally love it, except for this moment.
This moment sucked.
Just woke up, morning cuddle on the couch, enjoying a coffee, usually one of my favourite times of the day. This time was different. I pulled out my sons agenda to check notes before packing up his bag when I read it!
My son started school a month ago. He is 3 years old! I had all the usual mom feelings:
Who will take care of him at school!?
Will he ask for help if he needs it!?
What if he hurts himself?!
What if they lose him?!
Will kids be mean to him because he’s still hard to understand?!
Will he get discouraged?!
Will his teacher like him or will he be the reason she goes home at night and pours herself a stiff drink and wishes she chose a different career path?!
I listened to other moms who had the same feelings and thought.. Moms Are Actually Crazy! A billion kids start school every September and they survive! Why are our kids any different?!! Teachers know what they’re doing and I’m sure they’ve faced every single child..big or small, strong-willed or cool, calm and collected, aggressive or caring, come from a home of neglect or come from overbearing, over protective parents!
After a pretty smooth start, considering I feel like my child is the three-est three year old ever to start school, I was not prepared for what I was about to read. As I read that my son threw a block at another little boy which hit him in the head and the little boy went home for the rest of the day, I was flooded with overwhelming feelings of parent failure.
You know those feelings and thoughts where you question all your parenting ways and wonder how you could be failing so miserably?!?
He’s off on his first adventure in the “real world”, without mom around, and he throws a block at another little boy. One in which he has mentioned several times as a new friend.
And then I hear it from everywhere. “Boys will be boys”, “He was just playing”, “He doesn’t know any better yet”!
At what point do these excuses become unacceptable?!?!
Tough love is hard but I will be so disappointed if I raise two little boys into grown men that are still using the excuse “boys will be boys”! I wish there was a measuring tool that would determine how our little men are ranking up to becoming responsible, understanding and respectful grown men! How do we determine this? I ask this question everyday. Are guys actually just wired differently? I don’t believe that!
I will seriously feel like a failure if my future daughter-in-laws have expectations set on them from my sons that are so in the past and unwarranted! Nobody should be responsible for them, but themselves! They want their lunch made, they can make it! They have to fill out paper work, they can do it! They notice the household is out of toilet paper, they can pick it up! I want my boys not to just “be boys”, I want them to strive for greater! I want them to be contributing partners and run a household together (your welcome future daughter-in-law)!
If that means tough love for now then so be it. As a parent, I vow that I’m going to try my hardest everyday to ensure they will not make excuses and they will continue to learn and do better, to be better! I will give myself a personal goal for 21 years old, if at that point I feel like I’ve failed them, then I’ll finally throw in the towel!
If someone could tell me how to go about doing this, that’d be great 👍
A mom just trying to not raise butt-heads!